Sometimes, discussion will become a debate.
I don't like debate, especially with friend or someone around, here are some of the reasons:
- The winner of debate isn't the winner of the truth, it's who has better expression ability/bigger voice/more aggressive words.
- I'm not good at it, but I don't want to lose either.
- If I thought I lose, I will replay the scenes in my brain again and again, find out the way to convince debater(It seems a common natural behavior, but it affects me too much).
- Because of
3，it will break our relationship.
- Before I speak, I will over-check my potential errors in words I want to say(perhaps you will thought that's good, but I think it's too restrictive in free-talk), that will cause me speak less or keep silent.
yesterday, It happened.
I don't want to introduce the process, because everyone's expression will be more biased towards oneself, that's not fair for him.
After that, I thought a lot (ordered by time):
- Should no common topic lead to no communication?
- Perhaps we get too close, reference: Hedgehog's dilemma
- Our mindset are in "Binary Opposition", we don't need to convince the other, just keep two conclusion exist, do not dig it deeper.
- In character said, I should be the coordinator (Stop the debate from start and jump to another topic), don't involve a debate anymore!
- Will the problem happen again when I discuss with others?
Let it passed, It's worthless to continue unless one more time.