On 2021.12.14, I sent the email of resignation, it was a hard selection:
how happy you are to receive an offer, how uncomfortable you are to leave.
What makes me do such choice?
I was join the company as desktop IT operator (computer-repair, network-maintain and some chores) on Jan. After 7 months, I achieved my goal to become a backend-dev. It seems everything ok.
I have a little frontend dev skills, they called me to do frontend web works, work together with an experienced designer(As I know, she came from Tencent), I never work with designer before(or I did the design job myself, of course, not professional). She is really skillful, her designs were brilliant, I like the designs, so do my boss.
The problem is the design was always changed(although the design became more and more elegant), and I cannot restore the design on my job. it seems that they ignore the level of my frontend skills. On my opinion, my poor level kills the project.(cannot finish on time or even cannot complete it), I fall into blaming on myself.
Then I send the email, If I cannot do the job, I should quit, they need someone who can handle this easily instead of me.
As many of us think, we shouldn't leave on end of a year, because of Year-end awards. I'm a stubborn person, I won't accept the award if I think I'm not worth to have.(although I still want the award)
In one word: I fired myself for my company.
My leaders suggest me to withdraw the email, and work here as before, they give me two benifits:
- cancel the frontend job on me
- let me focus on backend job
They solve the problem directly, I am really appreciate on that.
But I still not withdraw the email, I will make my final decision (stay or leave) on friday.
Will I become embarrassed if I stay? or should I leave directly?