The story of cover: Miku Expo 2024 Brisbane

Who is she

All friends who knew me well believe that I am a quite introvert person with limited experience with girls. But in this year, I met a rare girl from a group assignment who could talk with me for hours because of our question-oriented conversation style. We had several long-talks, and the length varied from 2-4 hours each, while topics spanned from politics to personal experience, from partner criteria to family relationship. It was quite novel experience to me, and I indeed enjoyed those conversations. As well as our similar experience: we are from the same country, we both sold our property to study abroad, we both attended but failed the post-graduate entrance exam. I can feel the curiosity, similarity and complement between us, which form her attraction to me.

The Confession

Since she was so special, a bold idea came to my mind: I need to do something, otherwise I might regret in future; at least, I need to confess my feeling to her. I had made the decision, waiting for a proper timing. After finishing all my exams, we joined a celebration party for the end of the semester. As normal, we had a long talk after the party. I realized she noticed my feeling to her, so it was not needed to hide and a perfect timing. After my confession, she analyzed the possibility for us to be romantic relationship objectively. If I was sensitive enough, I should realize there won’t be a good result due to lack of impulse from her side.

I didn’t get the official result from her for the confession, instead of her announcement that she is in a new relationship now. Actually I tried to imagine various occasions that she rejects me to reduce my expectation, but most ironically, the reality is the only case I didn’t expect. There’s no blames on her or no self-doubting neither, just pure sadness.

Recovery

After everything happened, I gave myself three days to handle the negative emotion.

• Day1: Empty any romantic feeling to her, rollback to friend mode and talk with friends
• Day2: Back to normal life partially, but still allow myself to replay the whole story in my brain
• Day3: Back to normal entirely, don’t be influenced by this

Today is day 4, and I’m writing this post to calmly reflect on the entire experience. To be honest, I am so surprised and proud that I did an incredibly good job. On day2, we had a frank conversation to make everything clear. Thanks to the unique experience and my reflection, I got conclusions below:

1. I should love and focus on myself more, which means only caring about what I can control.
2. Stimulation might be more important than commitment at the start of a romantic relationship.
3. Quick trials, quick iterations; don’t dive in too much before confirming the relationship (1 week to 3 months).
4. I need to contact more girls actively and progressively, to get familiar with how to get along with girls (Systematic desensitization).
5. Be more sensitive to clues they left and be well-prepared before any chance come (self-optimization).

Thanks to you (the girl), I sincerely wish you to be happy.
Thanks for your reading.